


Some nights are lonely

by Paradigmenwechsel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 02:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15920898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradigmenwechsel/pseuds/Paradigmenwechsel
Summary: Every one Needs a Place to hide, sometimes it is in the arms of a Brother.





	Some nights are lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Once again this is a bit episodic told daily interaction between the Winchester Brothers over some Years….  
> Nothing specific, just a bit comfort stuff I guess…
> 
> And as usual there is not Beta and no native around yet. ^^P

Some nights are lonely… SPN FF

 

As they had been young Sam often had tugged at Deans shirt when the elder one was about to leave. The huge Puppy eyes had begged him to stay when Sammy had been feeling lonely, frightened or just in need of closeness.  
And although Dean had rolled his eyes in annoyance, he had always crawled into bed with his little Brother and allowed him to hold close…

As they had grown, Sam had been given a gun to protect himself in nightmares. He had been trained to fight, and commanded to stop that sissy behaviour. 

And while Dean had listened all to easy to their Father, growling at his Brother every time he had now asked for it, Sam had becoming uneasy, being ripped of a comforting Routine, for quite some time.

But still, he had never tried it again, being left alone with his need of contact and physical closeness, being left alone in a scary world he didn’t seem to have a fitting position in.

# ***

Otherwise than Sam, Dean had mixed feelings about the new arrangements.  
He had been happy and terrified as their Father had ordered him to help Sammy man up.  
Parts of the older Boy had been in a struggle for quite some time to be that close to his Sibling, a struggle the dark blond Teen couldn’t quite point at yet but had been the reason he had been happy to let this clinging Brother go.  
Another part of Dean had been terrified, terrified to no longer have the opportunity to hold close to the only stability in this/their chaotic life.  
The warmth that had helped him through his own worries, the calming, steady breathing and the solid, lively heartbeat, that had given him that little safety he had lost as their mother had died.

\----------

And than, Sam had left after just another big fight between those two equal and completely different Worlds that Dean had lived with and tried to hold together for what felt, all of his life.  
It was a Role the older Winchester had never asked for and never had have a chance to deny.  
This night though, Dean had failed in fulfilling his given position and for a long, long time the dark blond Hunter had carried that guilt that was coming up randomly till today.

Dean was still seeing Sam walking out of that dirty Shack and slamming the door, leaving for something, somewhere Dean couldn’t follow and without a guarantee of seeing each other ever again.

\----------

Truth be told.  
Although reaching out for Sam at College, getting him back, pulling him back in that life the younger one had more or less managed to escape for some time, was for good reasons and such, it always had been out of ulterior motives at well, and not just because their Father was gone.  
Dean wouldn’t have been able to man up and really speak to his Brother just because the old man was missing. To highly was his admiration for his Sammy, to desperate was his wish for the younger one to be happy, and to deep his own hopes to see them both having a normal live.

The simple and horrible Truth that had Dean breaking in that night in Sam’s apartment/world and Exile, always had been a way deeper and sinister yearning, a need of his own and there fore egoistic reason. Just another guilt that Dean was carrying within…

Over time though, while they had moved on, Dean had been relieved and horrified by any new Detail about his Brother and his Role in that Monster world, because it also had given him a real Argument, a reason and a solid one as well, why he needed to be around where ever Sam would be.  
Even though not easily, Dean had fit into his old Position and for a long time, the older Winchester had felt whole again…even though not happy…

# ***

Sam was waddling barefoot and half asleep along the Bunker Hallway. His tall frame was tipping over just slightly as the Hunter oriented more by instinct than actual consciousness to a specific room just a few turns away…

After Hell, after Lucifer, these night walks had started to become a thing and none of the Winchester Hunters was ever losing a word about it.  
After Sam had get back to more or less sanity, after Cass had taken over the Humans Burden of the Memories from his time in a Cage, with an Archangel in rage, Sam had started them.  
And for the first time in a million years…, he had tugged at Dean’s shirt, standing next to the other Hunters bed.

And just as it had never been different Dean had draped open/back his blanket, grunting at the nightly disturbance but allowing it anyway.

And just like that it had been fixed…, although it had taken the Winchesters more than 15 Years to fall back into a routine they knew by instinct, from early on, that each of them needed it.  
And after all they’d been through it was as if something settled, something missing fall back in place, something that had been taken away a long, long time ago.

\----------

Sam didn’t knock, he didn’t bother asking for permission as he opened the closed and sometimes even sealed or ‘salted’ door, which could happen after specifically horrible or world shattering events or cases.  
The tall guy didn’t bother announcing his presence either as he walked straight to the Memory foam covered bed and the snoring body laying there.  
After so long, there was no concern at all as he lifted the blanket, being welcomed with the typical subdued grunt that was more or less acknowledging his arrival, as Sam crawled in, closely tugging to the other body to find back to a more rested sleep.

For once and for sure Sam found his fitting position and place next to his big Brother who was only him giving the right to step into the Space this close to him.  
And the reason Sam knew that, and it left him with a warm smile as he slung his arm around the other warm body…, was as simple as this Contact…  
Not once, since they had started over with this old Behaviour of sharing a single bed, Sam had been denied.  
Not once had Dean reacted like he did with every other one.  
Ever since Sam sought for that nightly Company, not once had Dean reached for the Gun that was secured beneath his pillow to point it at any nightly Intruder and possible threat.  
And even though Sam could easily have been one of them, not once had Dean done that to him.

Dean rumbled something that sounded like a complain about the slight movements in his back but easily found back to peace as well with the warmth in his back and the steady hold of his Brothers arms around him.  
At those nights, their little, exclusive world was back in order, and at those nights, that was all that mattered…

End.


End file.
